I'm sick of night school, I want my GED.

My mother has recently pulled a transformers into robo-cop maneuver and is now The New London county heating and cooling nazi.  I'm in the igloo that is cleverly dubbed "house."  I pick up a fleece blanket and am nearly floored by visible static electricity sparks.   What a night, we're all over the place.  We can't escape the truth that is our identity.  Sat Nam.  I get it.  Fucking finally.  Night after insomniac night I wrote furiously in my composition notebook trying to figure you out.  An attempt to conceptualize the intangible force that dragged me me straight to your emanation knowing it was an abomination. An incalculable tuition for a sophomoric assignment of the soul.  Does this mean we graduate? To what? Junior Varsity? This is some high school musical shit.  Let's write  catchy songs that make falling in love sparkly and adolescent...sing them in the shower and maybe the vibration of our voices will fill our black holes and cast light on our shadow selves. 

Wiiiiiillllllddd Horsessss

Couldn't drag me away. Rolling stones and memorable tones.  Dad's in CCU and there's nothing I can do.  The queasy feeling in my gut came back like a shaq attack.  I want to cry when I see you hooked up to all the machines even though I've seen them a thousand times.  I've operated them and counseled families and cared for the patients...but at the risk of sounding cliche- its a whole nother ballgame when its your family.  I feel helpless and lost.  Trying to trust that the universe knows what the fuck its doing and hold my hand while I live the nightmares of the human dream.  I'm sorry for your suffering. It seems like one of those over philosophical music videos where time goes backwards and you understand the car crash.  Fuck MTV.  True Life: I hurt. 

Cancel my subscription, I'm through with your issues.

Save the drama for your mama. Tell your mama to feed ya, cause I don't need ya. Witty poetic semantics that let people know we mean business. Mark E Salamone and Morelli style. Let's settle this one. Are you better off telling off? Maybe laying out feelings and detaching from the outcome. But I'm the youngest child, damnit. I want everything to go my way. My ego wouldn't let me sit back and let the universe take the reins. Some Rudolph status. I just got the worst phone call of my life.

Honest to blog.

I wish I could think up stories as crazy as my actual life. I think it was mark Twain who said that truth is stranger than fiction. He, however has not ever been Sarah Hunt for a day and seen this craziness. Maybe I'll go in reverse chronological order. I feel like missy Elliot when she put her thing down flip it and reverse....it. Seriously. I got in a random person's car tonight thinking it was my mom's. i borrowed it to go see the blackout session and I was truly perplexed when the ignition key wouldn't open the door. I went round to the passenger side and to my amazement, the window was open. Eureka...I can drive home. As I peered into the car I smelled an unfamiliar scent and realized that the car wasn't my mom's afterall. It was a stranger's. FUCK. Now I'm on Bank street (in case you're my Miami friend, know it is synonymous with all the prostitutes in New London's hangout) breaking into some random car which I thought was my mom's. I guess I shouls have known it wasn't hers when I didn't see the I <3 skating bumper sticker??? Is this really my life? Fuck. good thing the only one who saw me was some random ass dude. This was only one tale form the night..trust you dont want to hear the rest......

A Nochebuena not soon forgotten

Wow.
Dad has a history of blowing it, especially around the holidays; but this is epic. I'll spare my lighthearted readers the heart breaking details of my father's Lindsay Lohan-esque saga but I''ll make a list of what comes to mind.
Booze, pills, broken furniture, broken glass, broken faces, stitches, emergency rooms, four point restraints, sad girlfriends, over it kids, crying blue eyes, haldol, revisiting former coworkers, destroyed navidades, impounded cars, arrests, jail time, DUI's, drama, psychiatrists, wonderful nurses, etc etc etc.

I'm emo and exhausted. I drove for 26 hours for this.
Fantastico. Merry Christmas, friends.

Inspired by Amanda

Facebook/ text message/ myspace battles with people that weren't even ever your boyfriend.

Ladies hear this. It is absurd to have that conversation with him over the internet. Maybe it's easier sometimes because they can't interrupt you while you're making your point and it gives you a little time to mellow, but seriously. Why does it have to be that way.... its 2002 (for Jessica) and its 2008 for the rest of us. Almost 2009. Save that shit for Miley Cyrus and the like. Cutting ties via cyberspace and the ensuing " No, I can ignore you harder" battle is a huge waste of energy. Does looking for love in all the wrong places have to lead to misconstrued hatin on all the face- spaces? Texting all the time...J- tack could write a good song about this . textin, textin, ooooooooo yeeeeeeeeahhhh.

Peace DArk Star... I'll see you in the mo-oo-rning.

A Flight of Ideas

Full from vegetable sushi I'm priming my body for the H2Ong event tonight- 2+ hours of kundalini yoga and hydrotherapy spa is sure to get my life together. One could only hope. Lost in the world finding myself. I'm temped to go back to bed. Its Saturday, I deserve it. Last night's Holiday spectacular was certainly interesting. A bunch of singing Miamians celebrating the day Christ was born. In spanish. Hmmmm. I wanted to sing along but I didn't know the words. Scientists would take this opportunity to explain that there's really no way to get embarazada (pregnant, not embarassed) on eggs alone. Now, that would be some mitochondrial disease. Who, then, is the baby daddy? It wasn't a keep-a-brotha-baby. No child support there. Christmas in Connecticut. Rotten in Groton. Mistakes in Mystic. Nada in Norwich. Puking in Preston. Nonchalant in New London. Missing in Miami. Geography and geology. Rocks and Jocks. Sandals vs. socks. Kickin it either way. The dashboard melted but we still have the radio. I'm gonna go hit the tempurpedic despite the offgassing of very toxic chemicals that probably is poisoning me and giving me ADHD.


Or was it all those Pop-tarts my mom provided me with??

Maybe I'll call, or write you a letter

Or maybe I'll see you on the fourth of Julyyyyyyyyy.
Wow. Today I didn't even have to use my AK- I have to say it was a good day. TLC is on the radio at internet cafe ...Don't go chasing waterfalls..please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to. What does that really mean?? What are the 3 letters that took him to his final resting place? 90s radio. Gnarly. I can't wait to see my baby dog at Christmas!!!! Secret Santa at work. How exciting! Really, I love this shit. Miami doesn't feel like Christmas. Its still 75 degrees at night but I can't complain about that. I'm still riding my bike all over this (miserable begoddamn-hahah Sean biff in mayanetics) beach. The search for the direction of my life is still going strong but I decided to take the intensity down a notch. To have that sexy latin I just have to think as if he's already here. Oh wait, he is. :)

There, behold the secret. On that note, I leave you to hit the yogashala.

paz, amor, y luz para todos!!

A taste of my own medicine

Que dia! As an attempt to follow my own advice and get my life back together I went to Kundalini this morning (@ Browne's on Lincoln rd with Ganesha).- I'm going to be a free advertiser here as I can attest to his classes being amazing and life changing. Back to me. As previously discussed, I am so predictable. When life falls apart I go back to the mat. No judgements. It was gloooooorious. I feel infinite, yet grounded...beautiful from the inside out. Connected to and grateful for the fire of the sun. Very grateful for the auto-save on this blog related to the crash of the internet cafe computer that just happened ( facking e-machines). REO speedwagon plays on the radio and I feel at home. hah! It feels good to be alive. I'm thankful for all the emotions that felt like a lightning storm in my brain to make me look for the sun. You'd think that in paradise you'd never lose sight of whats keeping you warm. I'm gonna hit the playa beach on my bike.

Happy Sunday everyone!

Sat Nam <3

Another day, another $8 at the internet cafe.

SO Miami. Maybe if I saved up all my internet and cafe expenditures, I could purchase an actual computer and the internet. But then I wouldn't be able to meet like minded individuals that want to spend their time accessing Al Gore's best invention while listening to the soothing, creativity boosting sounds of MC Hammer. The girl next to me is furious and I wish she would leave. Ha, she must have heard my brain yelling because she moved to another computer. Yesterday I cried so hard that I actually gave my self (non cardiac related) chest pain. I had the distinct feeling that I was the only one on the planet...The only star left in the universe - burning out- but no one could detect it for another 58 million light years. But then its the only star anyways so detection is out the window. Mixed metaphors and Melancholy. Measles, mumps, and Rubella. Maria the psychic said I create my own problems that aren't really there- is that really psychic or psychology? Perception and deception vs perspective and detectives. Depeche mode and Morse code. You're so predictable. I'm so predictable. We're like Ugly Casanova calls "Barnacles on a boat- even thought the ship sinks you know you cant let go." I wish I came up with that myself. Brilliant. Obama and his campaign just invited me to purchase a comemorative mug. Dude, save that shit for QVC. My first career aspiration was to be one of those ladies that sells shit on that channel...I used to practice. Ladies, run to the phone- everyone needs an Obama Mug!!!- maybe two because you need a gift on hand inc ase you get surprised by a friend/relative birthday!!! How many times have you gone to drink your coffee half awake in the morning and wanted to express your desire to change america with your choice of glassware?? Yes we can!
God Help America.

Ch ch ch ch ch ch-changes

The whole time I was in Ct I noticed that it felt different. The vibe wasn't the same although I couldn't put my finger on why. I cruised the Preston back counrty roads driving my dads 77 El Camino listening to Classic Rock on the Wolf (although now its 102.3 and not 104.7). Sick of driving and nowhere to go turned into lounging on the couch a few ativan deep (restless legs). I spaced out with my dog watching Snoopy Come Home and had a laid back awakening. Nothing had changed.
My same friends (minus Collins, Daniel) were standing around the same bar drinking Guinness.
Borders was still operating as the black hole for my wallet.
You can still see all the stars at night.
Its still fucking cold out.
You're still a liar.
Rob Guess is still picking Billy Idol's eyes without a face as number one jukebox pick.
Melissa's closet still looks as organized as the gap.
If nothing had changed...I must be different.
Am I "Miami"? Happy? Sad? Indifferent? Focused? unmedicated? realizing my dreams? living in a dream world? blogging? without internet? cooler now that I have an iphone? less cool now that I have an iphone?
Fucked up over expectations. Dude next to me in the internet cafe smells like straight up cigarette smoke. I can't believe I used to smoke. gross. I want one. The other dude next to me was on the real world. I said hi.
Impala.