The Architecture of Awareness

Walking down the street with music in my headphones always made me feel like I was in a music video. A super artistic, exclusive movie during a montage. Generally, when there's a montage, the character in the video is going through some sort of transformation. Any South Park fans would agree (episode 603). I am an ever unfolding metamorphosis of sarah-ness (that is intent on making sense out of these feelings before I leave the biblioteca). Internet ads tell me "DO NOT waste money on Protein shakes! I cured my yellow teeth!" I'm sad for us. I'm emancipated by insight, acumen, and ipod. Copius creativity channeled through cerebrum. Circumstances of affliction redirect my focus to rendevous with a 2 year old with a fresh schism of the naked heart. Its as fresh in my mind as a just-cut lemon. You always liked blues music, but watching you cry on the floor in desperation is a memory I had no idea would be re-enacted 22 years later at the lake house. If I could pick a song for that montage it might be something like "Everything, in its right place." Radiohead is as depressing as they come but our souls were, are, and always will be entwined in perfect formation to indulge the blue print of enlightenment. Sat Nam.

Yogi Sars Volume 1

My first weekend of Kundalini yoga teacher training has passed, and I am having trouble locating the proper words to express it. Usually thesaurus.com is pretty good for that but it failed me just now. Maybe that's because becoming one is ineffable. I was slightly anxious seeing the bout it yoga warriors equipped with turbans and enough white clothing to outfit the KKK for, like, a millenia. The thought passed through that perhaps I was joining some kind fanatical cult, they were so happy looking- DANGER. Then I called up my favorite Yogi for a reality check. "Dude, if you got brainwashed it wouldnt be the worst thing that happened."

So I plopped onto my pillow in easy pose for whatI learned afterwards would be 21 minutes of meditation with my arms up in the air. (btw This was after already participating in hours of yoga and meditation). Torture and euphoria. I wanted to let my arms down so bad. I was mofo-ing everything. I focused on my breath. I mofo-ed my breathing. I kept breathing. I asked for help. I kept my arms up. Spirit conquered my mind. I realized my ego would stop at nothing to keep me miserable. I decided it would not win. Bliss.

Now I realize why they were so happy looking.