Saturday, January 24, 2009

A relative housing paradox.




I dont get it. People can't afford their houses (as evidenced by the recession foreclosures left and right) yet rental prices are SKY HIGH. No wonder no one can afford to pay their bills on time if at all. How is one nurse supposed to pay $1500 for a CT STUDIO?!?! I was forced to look into alternative options. Maybe sharing a house with some randoms from craigslist? That could be like college. College. That's what got me into this predicament in the first place. I could have been knocked up, on welfare, buying Newports with my EBT food stamps, chillin on my stoop with my 5 kids in section 8, fucking enjoying life. Instead I'm living "my dreams" which btw, never included paying over one thousand dollars per month for a roof and some privacy. Anyhoo, in my search for affordable housing I found the funniest thing I've ever seen. Read this actual Craigslist ad...




"I'm guessing there must be other guys around here in the same situation as me: I'm getting divorced, I'm dating & I'm in need of a place to take a date after dinner occasionally. If we pull together 4 guys, all willing to throw in $300/month, we can easily find a nice studio someplace. If we pull together 6 guys, we can get a 1BR apartment. Any guy who tries to actually move in and live there will be physically thrown out by my cousin Louie! Lowkey guy here, 45, self-employed builder, just looking to have a place w/ a well-stocked bar & stereo to bring a date back to.....w/o having to resort to the whole hotel thing...."




WOW...The only thing he forgot was that you have to provide your own R. Kelly CD and Chris Hanson from to catch a Predator will have the hidden camera set up.

1 comment:

Bloggy McBloggerton said...

Ha ha, does this lowkey 45 yr old actually expect to pull a date back to the apt more than 5 times a month, which, mind you, is more than once a week. Let's do the math here... 6 guys with a one BR place.. 30 nights in an average month.. that comes out to 5 nights out of the month for a fair share of the Bedroom usage, each. So each equally disturbing character would fork up $300 a month for 5 nights MAXIMUM usage. But he doesn't wanna do the hotel thing??? By my calculations that is paying $60 a night. And I'm pretty sure a savvy scum bag could find a hotel for $60/night anyway. This financial concern is, of course, totally disregarding all other perfectly good reasons why this is a terrible idea...

Has anyone heard of an STD? Okay, if all 6 guys actually try to get their money's worth, they will be tattering those bed sheets with a presumably different female almost every day of the month. How man dudes do you know are good at doing laundry? That should lead everyone to a pretty horrid conclusion.. extreme danger or very high laundry bill, making your average night's stay even more expensive. Clearly they will need a maid.

Next idiotic oversight... coordination? You can count spontaneity right out. Good luck determining who gets the place and when.

The next obvious concern.. who the hell wants to worry about My Cousin Vinny anyway? Who could apparently remove you (or delete you) physically without a moment's notice.

Which all begs the question..

WTF IS THE POINT!? slash is this guy really serious.